The choice IS yours!
You were born with the ability to choose. Many people do not accept this as fact. They believe they don’t have the willpower to choose or even the right to choose. They feel as if they are the result of circumstances, the result of their upbringing, the result of their friends, the result of society.
Whatever you believe, is correct - and only because you believe it. But that doesn’t make it real.
You do have the willpower to choose. To think is an action of choice. You think, and you make the choice to destroy yourself. Conversely, you can think, and decide not to destroy yourself. You have the ability to choose to do the right things; eat well, exercise, work, not argue, not steal, not murder and, stay sober.
If you have the power to choose self-destruction, why would you think that you don’t have the power to choose self-preservation?
How can I speak so boldly? I was there! I was physically, emotionally and psychologically dependant on alcohol. But I also knew that I still possessed the freedom to think, to make choices. I understood that I am responsible and accountable for my thinking and the choices I make. I choose to no longer drink.
If you choose to drink, that’s fine – but remember, it is your choice. Do not blame your spouse, your family, society, me or anybody else. Do not blame alcohol for your actions, for your bad luck or for failures. Unintended consequences are a result of drinking, and the choice is yours.
Living sober will also be your own choice, and you must decide when and how you will go about it. Do not blindly accept as true, that a system or program developed by others is correct. Do not become mindlessly obedient to a method of rules or steps. You do not have to believe in anything I say; I have no need that you agree with my philosophies. But for your own sake, educate yourself on all the information that is available about sobriety and then make your own choices.
My goal is that I inspire you to think on your own, and guess what? you do have the power to think. You have the power of choice, the choice to study, read, ask questions and discover what will work for you in your goal of a happy, normal sobriety. You can choose how you want to live your life sober, you can choose what goals you want to strive for as a sober person, and you can decide what rewards you want out of sobriety. But you have to think – and think on your own behalf.
The choice IS yours.
(The following was added on 03/07/2010)
A little moron my mind:
(Okay, so I did use a silly wordplay here).
Your mind and ability to think were given to you at birth, the contents of your mind and your thoughts were not. As a living being, you have the freedom to think and you will rise to the level of which you are willing to think and expand your knowledge. I want to point out that this does not mean you must be formally educated, laced with diplomas and degrees. The world is populated with millions of well educated, intelligent fools. Intelligence is far different than the power to think. Using your mind does not require that you understand fractal geometry or are capable of grasping the theory of quantum physics. Thinking is the process of analyzing what is right or wrong, good or bad, true or false.
Focused, clear thinking does not guarantee that all of your decisions will be correct. Your mind is fallible – you will make mistakes. But being mindless and not thinking doesn’t make you infallible. Being mindless is a conscious act of denial.
Denial has many faces. In one instance; it is the belief that things are better than they are, while ignoring a reality. (i.e.; “My drinking isn’t causing any problems. I can function fine when I’m drinking.”) It can also be an act of delusional or grandiose thinking. (i.e.; Having faith that “everything will turn out great” without putting in any effort, change or action on your behalf.) Fear also plays a role in denial. Denial through fear is the act of believing that the worst is already true, and that there is nothing you can do about it. Yes, you have to consciously think to accept and live in a state of denial.
Whether you care to admit it to yourself or not, you do live by your choices. You choose to do right or wrong, you choose whether you will allow others to influence your actions and thinking. If one makes incorrect choices, they are then justified by blaming other people, conditions, drugs or alcohol. By surrendering your own power of choice, this puts you under the control of others or anything. You are willingly handing your self-esteem over to them. I have been guilty of this myself.
So what can we do? First; stop and think. Am I seeing this as truth or am I deluding my thoughts with imaginary hopes? Are my thoughts deluded by fear of what I don’t know? Do I have all the true facts? Am I allowing others to influence my thinking?
Second; take action. What can I do about this situation? Do I need to make a decision on this right now? (Indecision is a decision in itself.) Will my actions build or destroy my self-esteem? Will my actions be in harmony with my personal moral ethics and my goals?
I believe that goals and desires are two different things. A desire is not an act of thinking – it is an act of dreaming. Simply having the desire to accomplish something does not automatically give you the knowledge and fortitude to accomplish the desire. (Such as the desire to stop drinking.) To accomplish a desire you must turn it into a goal. You must choose to obtain the required knowledge and formulate a plan of how you wish to achieve this goal. Then you must start working your plan. It requires labor, self-discipline, effort and consciousness of thought. These are all actions of choice.
We will be rewarded when we have earned it. The reward may be disproportionate. Your rewards may be higher than the effort put in, or, you may be rewarded with less than you feel you deserve – that is life. But you will be thinking and acting on your own choices.
Just because I think does not make me intelligent. I will be the first in line to say, “Mark is a goof.” But at least I think, I make my own choices and I am accountable for my choices. For this I am proud, this is the core of my self-esteem. Health, money, acquisitions and relationships will all follow when I hold my self-esteem and power of choice as precious. No one can give these two items to me (self-esteem/choice), and I cannot share them with others until I posses them myself.
Profound prose means nothing if it cannot be understood or inspire the reader. I believe in raw simplicity. This piece of writing is in no way intended to project that I am a wise sage. All I have done was to sit in front of a computer (wearing only underpants) arranging thoughts and words to share with others. I hope this page motivates you to think.
Mark A. Tuschel
