Living Sober Sucks
United States
Mark
Living Sober Sucks (but living drunk sucks more) - is an alternative to the typical recovery model or "program" system. This book is based on the premise that drinking is a CHOICE. It is funny, sad, controversial, inspirational, thought provoking and REAL. This is NOT your traditional religious based recovery book.
This book was not intended to be a literary masterpiece - it is far from that. It is written in a simple, crude and raw fashion. I wanted it to be easy to read, with understandable and realistic startigies that will be helpful to people that want to live a normal life sober.
Every drunk and every situation is different, which is why I don’t dare claim to have a system that is guaranteed to work for you. I share examples of what you can expect while sobering up and give you ideas and answers for a plan that you might want to try. It is part memoir, but mostly descriptive ideas to help you maintain and enjoy sobriety. You will be shown ideas on how to stop drinking, maintain sobriety, shed guilt, regain self worth, save money and more, while living a normal life - sober.
My story is not glamorous - this is a story for the rest of us. This is a way to get sober and stay sober for the average person. It is a way to accept the real world with an open mind and live life to its fullest - SOBER.
The following are samples from a few chapters in the book. I cant give the book away for free! If you buy it, you will at least read it and I know that you will get some great ideas out of it. - Thank you, Mark.
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Published by: CW Media, Inc.
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Living Sober Sucks (but living drunk sucks more)
Table of Contents
Introduction…………… (Audio Book excerpts)
Chapter ONE:……… How did this happen? (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter TWO:……… What a party! (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter THREE:…… Drinking seemed normal to me. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter FOUR:…… I was a productive drunk. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter FIVE:……… The wake-up calls I slept through (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter SIX:……… The wake-up call I finally heard. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter SEVEN:…… Where is your bottom? (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter EIGHT:…… I am a freak of nature. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter NINE:……… Let’s get started, shall we? (Audio Book excerpts)
Chapter TEN:……… Okay wise guy, how do I do this? (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter ELEVEN:…… Is A.A. for you? (Audio Book excerpts)
Chapter TWELVE:… Life after liquor. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter THIRTEEN:… Mark’s reward system. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter FOURTEEN:…Sobriety and Creativity. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter FIFTEEN:…… It’s easy to forget the pain. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter SIXTEEN:…… I’m lucky to have been an alcoholic. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter SEVENTEEN:.. Hints for the alcoholic and nonalcoholic. (Audio Book excerpt)
Chapter EIGHTEEN:… Blah, blah, fucking blah. (Audio Book excerpt)
(Excerpted from Introduction)
This is my story of how I started drinking, why I drank, what I did to take control of my life and ultimately stop drinking. These are the things that worked for me, as well as the things that didn’t work for me. My technique may work better for you than it did for me - I hope it does.
Living Sober Sucks was written over a three year period of time. I started writing this approximately one year after I sobered up. I wrote many parts during the earliest and most fucked up stages of my recovery (cited as Journal Entries in chapter 18.)
Your goal should be to get sober and stay sober while still enjoying a fulfilling and engaged life. You want to be able to go to parties, sporting events, concerts, etc. You want to be involved and participate in all the functions and activities you desire. You want to be fun to be around and you want to be around fun and constructive people. You can do all of this and have all of this - but only once you have accepted that sobriety is your own choice.
This can be the greatest achievement of your life. It may not be the most thrilling achievement, but in the end, it will be the best thing you ever did for yourself, and for someone else too.
Shortened samples from a few chapters (hey, I can’t give everything away).
#6) The wake-up call I finally heard.
What a rude awakening.
I can still remember the night I finally realized that I had to stop drinking (I’ll expand more on that night in Chapter 7). Prior to that awakening, I had gone through a period that lasted about two years where I would consider quitting, but I kept putting it off. I kept thinking that I had my drinking under control and all I needed to do was drink just a little less - but like any good drunk - I would say, “I’ll do that tomorrow, or at least by next week sometime.”
It is often said that you have to hit bottom before you quit. Every day there were signs, the wake-up calls. Every day I would get closer to my bottom. There was no single occurrence that awakened me; instead it was a series of events. I kept hearing three distinctly different wake-up calls. The first call was that I was afraid that I would lose my wife. Even with the problems that we were having I never wanted to lose her. The second was that I was afraid that my wife would lose me. I was drunk and stupid and I wasn’t thinking clearly about my relationship with her and I was afraid that I would stray from her. The final sign - I was afraid that I was losing myself. I no longer had control over my life or control over how much I was drinking. (Continued in book)
#7) Where is your bottom?
Mine was right in front of me.
While it is true that every drunk’s story is different, some things are very common among alcoholics. We each tend to hit a variety of bottoms during our drinking career and we hit different levels and types of bottoms. For one person - peeing themselves, getting arrested for drunk driving or doing something embarrassing in public is a bottom - for another something like that is no big deal. Some drunks feel helpless, that there is nothing they can do and accept how their life is, some are fine living their life drunk. The fact is, some of us will never hit our bottom, never take control of our drinking, never do anything and simply die as a drunk. Hopefully you won’t have to hit a catastrophic bottom. You might wake up one day and realize that you’re done. Done with drinking, done with fucking up your life and done with fucking up other people’s lives.
So my question to you is this: “What has to happen or what stupid thing must you do for you to hit your bottom?” Will it be an obvious event or will it be a series of smaller events that ultimately turn into a catastrophic crash? (Continued in book)
#8) I am a freak of nature
This can be done by sheer willpower alone.
My thoughts on alcoholism and drug addiction, including my methods for recovery are unorthodox and will probably surprise you. I don’t embrace the traditional recovery systems and many addiction specialists will disagree with me and my methods. Tough shit, this is my book. This process worked for me and continues to keep me sober. I believe that if you honestly want to sober up, it will work for you as well. I firmly believe that controlling your addictions can be done by using sheer willpower alone. I also believe that we all have the strength and willpower within ourselves.
I sobered up without going to rehab, following any 12-step recovery program, going to meetings or the help and support of a loving partner. I actually had the person that I trusted, loved and needed the most, undermine me and torment me along the way, which made this even harder. I did this solely on my own. I am not a special person; I have no special talent, strength or skill. But if I can do this on my own, I know that you can do it too. I may be a freak of nature, but so are you. (Continued in book).
#9) Let’s get started, shall we?
A brief overview of what is to come.
I want to state again that this book is the story of what I did to control and ultimately stop my drinking. These are the things that worked for me. These are also the things that didn’t work for me. My technique may work better for you than it did for me - I hope it does. My style may not work for you at all. Just the fact that you’re reading this and you’re willing to try something is a promising sign. I am not an accredited therapist; I have not been formally educated or trained with regard to substance and alcohol abuse. I only know what I was able to do for myself - quit drinking and learn to live sober - by accepting harsh realities and reliance on my own willpower.
I suggest that as you are reading, you highlight some of the ideas that you think will work for you. Have a notepad available so you can write out your own goals and plan for achieving these goals. It is necessary to have a plan to accomplish your goals - and one of those goals is to live sober. Writing a plan will get you involved in your recovery and it will help you take this process seriously. Your own written goals will give you something to refer back to when you question whether this is worth the effort. Your written plans will help refocus your thoughts when you are unsure about how to handle the struggles and temptations that you undoubtedly will encounter - because living sober is not a onetime event, it is a lifelong project (please highlight that). Your own written goals will be a nice thing to go back and read after you have been sober for a month, three months, six months… years later. So let’s get started, shall we? (Continued in book)
#10) Okay wise guy, how do I do this?
This is going to hurt.
People like simple and easy answers, but these two words simple & easy don’t equate to one another when it comes to sobriety. Living sober can be a simple task but it will not be an easy task. It is simple in that all you need to do is not drink, yup, that’s the simple part. Controlling your urges and temptations to drink or do drugs will not be easy.
So here is the simple plan that I developed for myself and followed to achieve sobriety. I will be detailing the actions I undertook. I made changes in my activities and attitude along the way - adapting myself and my plan - based upon what was working and what wasn‘t working for me. I will share my experiences of success and failure. I will speak of the difficulties and mistakes I made. I will tell you about what painful conditions I encountered and the psychological confusion I felt and still feel.
“I’m ready to start living sober, how do I do this?” (Continued in book)
#12) Life after liquor
Okay I’m sober, what’s next?
Staying sober is not a onetime event, it is an ongoing, daily project that requires patience. As long as you can be patient with yourself, then I’m sure your friends and family will be patient with you too. It will take time to see the improvements and benefits. After a month, three months, six months, a year, two years, etc., it all starts paying off. I’m not making any false promises to you. This will take time, it will be tough on occasion, things may not always go as planned. Some things will get better, I can promise you that.
Time lines: The longer you stay sober the easier some things will become. On the flip side, some things will get harder. If you have been drinking on a regular basis for a year or more, your brain has acclimated itself to functioning under the influence of alcohol. When you stop feeding your brain alcohol it may not function as well as you would like it to. There are time frames that will pass where changes will occur. 30 days, 90 days and one year. From my own experience, I can tell you that it will take almost 90 days of sobriety for your brain to heal and start functioning normal again. It will probably take up to one year of sobriety for your brain, body and mind to work together in sober unison. (Continued in book)
How do I get rid of all my guilt? “I want to free myself of all the remorse, the regrets, the wreckage, the damage I’ve done. I want to eliminate the pain - I want to pay my penance and clear the slate.” I understand that it is natural to want to rid oneself of painful emotions. To make restitution to those you have wronged and make everything better again. Sorry to tell you this, but sometimes you can’t rid of these things - and who (or what) do you want to give this wreckage to anyway? Some things in life can’t be undone. That doesn’t mean that you have to live the rest of your life with guilt and sadness. (Continued in book)
#13) Mark’s Reward System.
Make this pay off.
I may not be formally trained in psychology, but I can tell you what I have learned from all my years of experience running my own business, being in sales and being involved in entertainment. People only care about themselves and they do things that they feel will be rewarding to themselves. This is not a criticism of humanity, nor do I want to be perceived as having a low opinion of people. This is simply an honest observation of human nature and self preservation. And you know what? Caring about yourself is not a bad thing. You should reward yourself and do things that are beneficial for you. (Continued in book)
#14) Sobriety and Creativity.
A tortured soul can spark creativity - but don’t go out of your way to torture yourself.
From a wounded soul can flow a wellspring of creativity. It’s almost like you have to visit hell before you can write a travel brochure about the place. Quite a bit of comedy, song lyrics and art come from the mind of a tormented past. Notice that I used the word past? Creativity is a way of releasing and sharing these past troubled experiences in a constructive form. These experiences then bring joy and beauty to others while relieving pain from the soul of the creator of the art. (Continued in book)
#18) Blah, blah, fucking blah.
Is this goof still talking?
My intention is not to share my tale of woe, speak poorly of anyone or paint myself as a wonderful person. I am not looking for sympathy. My purpose here is to share the wild emotional and mental swings that will take place - and how these states will change - while sobering up. These have not been edited or updated. They may include spelling and grammatical errors (oh, like the rest of my writing doesn’t). Some of this is painful, some insightful, some funny but most are the ramblings of a recovering drunk. This is just how I felt at the time. (Continued in book)
**********
After four years of sobriety, I can say that I feel better, I think clearer, I do like myself and I am glad that I am sober.
I wish you success at whatever you decide. May your life become calm, enjoyable and drama free.
Mark.
Living Sober Sucks
Copyright © 2009 by Mark A. Tuschel
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief excerpts in connection with a review in a magazine, newspaper, website or other electronic media. Ipso facto, corpus juris, e Pluribus Unum, quid pro quo, and further legal mumbo-jumbo.
Published by: CW Media, Inc.
Printed in the United States of America by English speaking, American owned company – Network Printers
All inquiries about this book, including interviews, purchases or speaking engagements can be made through email: booksales@LivingSoberSucks.com
Please don’t bother the Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data, they're very busy.
ISBN 10: 0-9842730-X
ISBN 13: 978-0-9842730-0-3
Living Sober Sucks
United States
Mark