Rebecca Mayers

Living sober isn’t always easy, even for someone who is trained in and works in Substance Abuse Education. Rebecca Mayers recently had a wrench thrown into the machinery of her life. Her own son just received his 2nd DUI in less than a two week span. She is willing to openly share her story and her own personal battles.

My first child was my life saver. The most beautiful child ever born (at least I thought so). Smart, witty, intelligent, starting quarter back of his high-school football team for 3 years. As a mother I couldn’t have been more proud of my kid. During his life, he has watched me mess up, get put into rehab and eventually graduate a course in Addiction Counselor training.

I get a call from my mother, while teaching my substance abuse education class, that he is in jail. His 2nd DUI in less than 2 weeks. OKAY!!! FUCKIN REALLY!?! That is my kid; I teach everyone else’s kid who messes up!!!

Ok, Momma-mode kicks in and Momma panics… there is not one logical thought going through my head, except getting my kid. He is in so much (legal and emotional) trouble and doesn’t even know it. I know him, I know where he is mentally and I am feeling every ounce of his pain, and I can’t do a damn thing to fix it. But I am MOM, I have to fix it and I am overwhelmed myself. So I call friends to help calm my nerves and everything they say is very logical… but “Fuck them,” they don’t know how it feels.

All I could think was, “God I need this to be numb.” I get home and for over an hour and a half hold in my hand what I need to numb it. I never put it in my system, not even close to my mouth… and it just disgusted me that feeling of wanting to numb it. This bullshit isn’t about me, it is about the rest of my kids life, but I was willing to hide from reality. Hide from reality? Not me, so I got mad and took action.

How do you stop being a Mom and be an addiction counselor? How do you let your baby make the choice to kill himself or someone else, or get help? How do I get him to want it? He is 19 years old and has the rest of his life ahead of him. Breathe, Rebecca!!! You have been doing this for 4 years now, BREATHE!!!

I just did… I just gave him the choice… and had to accept whatever he decided to do.

Day One: Intake, AA meeting. DUI CLASS and twice a week outpatient meetings, with homework from the Big Book. He asked me after the AA meeting, “What the hell was that stupid crap? I hate that!!!”

I handed him Mark’s book to read… he didn’t even want to look at it (because Mom said it might help), so the Big Book it is for him. All I could tell him was that classes and outpatient meetings are better than having a cellmate named Bubba wanting to snuggle at night in your bunk with you.

This is the most crazy experience of emotions  I have had to deal with since I have gotten sober. I am still on the ride of one second hurting so bad for him and the next second wanting to kill him, laugh and shove a Big Book down his throat.

This is gonna be an ADVENTURE. Here we go… let’s see what happens.