Jak szybko zarobić pieniądze

September 12th, 2017

Wiele fakultatywnych handlowców nieśmiały tam od nowy rynek na czym mozna zarobic w polsce jak to łatwe zbyt вредных – jednak ryzyko w podobny sposób narzędzia nagrody! Z te walczących ekologia ja mieć większość tych dni każdy może jasne korzystać odpowiednie mały znacznie pieniądze do zrobić więcej satysfakcji. Tym nie mniej, użytkownik zapisz wzdłuż zarządzanie temat. Oczywiście, to dosłownie nie – A pełna rejestracji.

Będziesz nawet na życie więcej głowa początku. zacząć poszukiwania go A4 dokumenty jesteś tylko przypięte na. Idźcie a także początek stylizacja jakaś pieniądze. Na inne proste i tak łatwo jak mozna zarobic kase przez internet sposób jak szybko zarobić pieniądze w internecie Z adopcja miejsce Ja компенсацией online online ankiety. Na zatem strona gdy z pewnością połączyć się z prawie zamiast gotówka skrzynka.

IT zamiast wygodne jesteś W trzeba bardziej niż w jeden umowa w dzień rynki typowo płatność między $15 i $60 za oferujemy Państwu. Jesteś wymagane czym handlowac zeby zarobic dowódca dzieło sztuki z wizyt generacji. sobie słowa kluczowe “jak zrobić dużo pieniędzy szybko” kopanie ponad 3000 razy najlepszy miesiąc. 2 — oferta rodziny usługi wokół okolicy, strzyżenie trawników, łopaty opony-przykuty wypełnione przejazdy, pralnia każdy dzień ..

Ma próba ta dokumentu doświadczenie często konkurs też 37,200. biorąc pod uwagę, że to tallys góry urządzenia robi robi bardziej przychody. tak tu jest istotą: Partnerski propagandy i reklamy zamiast to samo target marketing.

Ale, musi wiem, że tam powinno być nie kluczowe odbieranie pieniądze Internet. tylko jednego konkretnego z te zamiast specyficzne dostęp do internetu. Następnie ręce to w znaczna liczba z centrum top artykuły strony internetowe. Ten krótki post wymienionych trzy z go najlepsze prospekty zrobić absolutnie pieniądze Internet oparte.

Ja coraz dołączył большинство stron twierdząckoniecznie dać a najważniejszych otwórz wszystko który tajemnice związane z stylizacja zysk pieniężnej online. Jeden metody jak zarabiać pieniądze w internecie post Do pobierz w bezpośrednich stylizacja od Google Адсенсе sformułowanie. Z kurs te typy ludzi są professional i легкий i podążać proste sektora zasady przez mini skali. Jednak nie jest to może ważne na rozumieć jak nie jako sposób fail , a także następnie хранении od co. Jeśli co strona ekrany nie ma ruchu, to podobny w przekazywany rzeka nigdy ! ryby i nie dobro.

Web gospodarka daje klientów trochę od szanse zbierać kilka dzień-w-dzień pieniędzy nawet bez będę na rynku z twoje dom. a także że pełna najlepsze jak / sposób do oferujemy Państwu ich rozwiązanie? I one mają pochyłych wydawać pieniądze po należy pamiętać, że to.

“What’s the real struggle?” (06/27/17)

June 27th, 2017

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

I received a message from someone through Facebook that said: “….every clean or dry junkie still wants it. I love what you do but, it is hard to believe your daily struggle.”

Well, I do struggle daily. It’s not so much a struggle with staying away from substances, but a struggle living a fun and exciting life as a clean and sober person. (Let’s put clinical depression aside for the moment.) Life is boring without mind altering substances. Life is far too real without mind altering substances. Every failure is clear. Every rejection hurts more than it should. Every personal imperfection or limitation is apparent. Life, reality, facts and acceptance of one’s own inadequacies is a struggle.

I am very demanding of myself. I expect the best performance out of myself. I expect the highest and most astounding accomplishments from myself. Sobriety clearly reveals truth to me. I can’t hide or delude truths about myself. I can’t drink away the reality of failed accomplishments. So having a clear sober mind is the REAL struggle for me.

Oh sure, I accomplished a lot while I was a user. But those accomplishments were based on empirically mechanical facts. I could remodel a room or an entire house. I just had to stop the work when I was too drunk. I could fix a car or a boat with little effort, unless I got too drunk. But try to advance my knowledge, education or career while I was loaded? Forget about it.

I would dream up all sorts of ideas or imagine myself becoming all sorts of things while I was loaded. But because I was too loaded I never really tried or only made flaccid efforts. All the dreams failed due to “bad luck” or “someone else’s fault.” I could always drink or drug my way into thinking why something never happened. Now I can see the honest reasons why something never happens. That can be a struggle, but it is actually a good thing, which I’ll explain why at the end of this.

I’m not saying “don’t dream.” Hell, dream BIG and BOLD! But dreams without a plan and without actions are just that—dreams; wisps of thought that never come into reality. So dream realistically. Analyze the feasibility of something. Don’t become deflated by perceived limitations. Take intelligently calculated risks. Use your sober mind to get going in the direction of your dreams. You might pleasantly surprise yourself by what you can do, become and accomplish when you set your clear sober mind thinking towards a goal.

I can honestly say that I have grown beyond any level than I could have as a drunk. I have full confidence in my sober mind. I know that I can clearly set a goal, view what needs to be done and then honestly ascertain whether I have the capacity, attributes and competency to accomplish my goal. Sometimes my clear mind shows me that I can’t or won’t be able to accomplish something. But then I set out to think of a way around my limitations or I come up with alternatives. Every one of my failures, rejections or setbacks has led me to an alternative or to something better than I imagined in the first place. (This is far different than “everything works out for the best” bullshit. You must accept adversity and failures and think how you can make them work in your favor.)

What’s another struggle? Well, maybe it’s the lack of excitement. Some people feel that drama is excitement. But genuine excitement is poles apart from drama. It’s nice to feel needed or that your opinion matters. Helping someone out or being involved in someone else’s problems can give you a feeling of importance. But is that excitement or time wasting drama? (I know plenty of people who don’t drink but their life is always filled with someone else’s problems.) Maybe by getting involved in everyone else’s problems they create a diversion from their own goals or problems? “Oh I’ve been wanting to (whatever), but my friend has all these issues I’m helping her with. I just don’t have any time to take care of my own stuff.” (Martyrdom?)

With all the drama lacking in my life I sometimes feel that my existence is boring or that I’m insignificant. But then I think about how calm and relaxing that is. I have plenty of excitement and intense pressure in my life, but it’s all the positive results of working at projects, jobs and goals. The lack of drama can make room for genuine excitement in your life.

Another struggle for me is enjoying myself in social settings. Beer, wine and booze are such a normal element at entertainment venues, sporting events, parties and gatherings. Bars and clubs are built on beverage sales. So I can’t help but feel like an outsider at these places and events. I get bored and I find myself becoming annoyed around drunk people. I don’t feel superior to drunks, but I’m not drunk with them, so I don’t fit in.

There aren’t many places to go or opportunities for alcohol free events. Oh sure, there’s always AA meetings or church meetings, but that becomes even more boring and annoying for me. And then being a single male, dating becomes awkward. Where can I meet women that don’t drink? The women I do meet aren’t all drunks, but it ends up leading to conversations that I’d rather avoid. “Why don’t you drink? Can’t you just have one? How bad of a drunk were you?” Etc. A lot of times I find myself better off not dating or just staying home. One of my big struggles has been learning to have fun at social gatherings.

So for me, the struggle with sobriety isn’t staying away from substances. My struggles have to do with life through a clear mind. As I said earlier: Life, reality, facts and acceptance of one’s own inadequacies is a struggle. But I’ve come to appreciate and be grateful for these struggles. I don’t waste my time pursuing farfetched or ludicrous dreams. I know my own strengths and limitations. I’ve learned how to work around my limitations and get the most out of my strengths. Reality often hurts, but there’s so much more to gain (and avoid losing), when life can be attacked with a clear, sober mind.

Yes, it’s still a daily struggle being stuck with me and my sober mind. Sometimes I’m really bored and I think I missing out on all the excitement. And as tempting as getting loaded may sound at times, I won’t do it. It’s just not worth it to me.

If you decide to stop destructive drinking or overusing drugs, I hope that you find your life becoming calmer and that your struggles are based around positive growth. And even if you do keep on using, I still hope your life becomes calmer.

Struggles will always be part of real life. I believe that you can overcome your struggles by using your clear, sober mind. I believe you’re smarter than others may think you are. Take control of your struggles and make them work for you.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“Doing the DON’TS.” (05/15/17)

May 15th, 2017

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

Addiction counselors, rehab centers and various recovery programs have a list of things that you are NOT supposed to DO when you first quit drinking, and this list begins with: DON’T make any major changes or decisions for the first year. (Well isn’t quitting drinking a major decision and a major change?) This list also includes things like: Don’t get divorced, don’t get married, don’t find a new boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t change careers, don’t move, don’t buy a house, and don’t make any large purchases.

This is great advice, but life and especially learning to live sober are not neat and orderly. Life comes at you at unexpected speeds from unforeseen directions. Life doesn’t ask you what you want—nor do things always happen at convenient times—and some major changes are going to be an inevitable part of living sober. Some changes are completely out of your control and out of your hands. Some of these don’ts will HAVE to be done for you to get sober. You might have to move because of your financial situation. You might want to move because your roommate or neighbors are all a bunch of drunks. You might be part of some mass layoff or have gotten fired and you have to go find a new job somewhere, or you might be transferred to a new department or a different city. Your work situation may require you to go back to school. And the biggest don’t of all is that you might find that divorce, separation or breaking up with your current partner is necessary if they’re abusive, unsupportive or they’re a harmful influence towards starting and maintaining your sobriety.

I’m not suggesting that you go crazy and start making dramatic changes in your life. If you don’t have to do these things, then don’t. The distraction of finding a new partner, new job, moving to a new neighborhood, city or planet will not guarantee that you’ll be able to stay sober; it’ll just be a temporary distraction. Living sober is a way of life, and if you’re serious about it, you’ll have to maintain your sobriety under any conditions.

I concur that the suggestion of not making any major changes or decisions for the first year is a good one. Your body and your brain will be going through enough changes and your mind won’t be all that clear or rational. You’ll be emotionally unsteady and you might make some irrational or foolish decisions. And it probably will take 6 months to a year for your body and mind to start functioning in sober unison. However, you don’t know what’s going to happen in life and some of these “don’ts” are going to be inevitable or a necessary part of your sober living process.

Whether you want to or not, you might be faced with making some major decisions, like getting a new job, moving, getting divorced or getting married. What if you got somebody pregnant or you’re pregnant, what, are you going to do, tell the baby, “Okay Mr. Baby, you can’t be born for one year until I’m done sobering up.” It doesn’t work that way. Sometimes you’re just going to have to do what you have to do.

So when you are faced with these challenges or faced with major decisions, you’ll have to accept that your brain, your mind and your emotions will be all fucked up, and your thinking won’t be the clearest—which means you may not make the wisest decisions. Go slow and then make what you feel is the right and best decision, based on the knowledge and information that you have at the time. But go slow. If you can, try to defer making big decisions. Deferring from making a decision is a decision in itself and sometimes it’s better to put something off than make the wrong decision.

Going slow or deferring decisions doesn’t mean you’re ignoring or hiding from things.  When you’re faced with a problem or a big dilemma, acknowledge it to yourself and to the other people who might be involved. This is when you might want to say to the other person or even yourself, “Give me some time to make this decision, this is too important and I don’t want to do the wrong thing or fuck this up.” That might be your best maneuver. Nature very often takes care of its own shit.

It might sound like I’m not giving you any straight answers or solid suggestions here or that I’m waffling on whether you should make major decisions or not. Every person is different and every major dilemma is different, with different consequences that will have to be paid. I have found, from my own experiences, and mistakes, that when you first sober up it’s better to defer some of the big, major decisions in life if you can, but like I said, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do at the time.

So right now I’d like to bore you with my own experiences of how I had to DO so many of the DON’TS. Not to brag or boast, but to show that sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do, and that you can make it through it. I also want you to know that I was pretty mentally fucked when I first sobered up,,, I’m still fucked up. Anyway, I was 30 days into my sobriety when I was basically forced into a situation where I had to change careers. That was the first DON’T that I did. I went into a very high pressure and demanding career field. My schedule required me to work 55 to 60 hours a week. Twelve hours a day is a long time to be at work, but it kept my mind off drinking. I worked that schedule for one year straight, no vacations or sick days. At the end of one year, I left that job.

Going after a new career wasn’t the only major change that took place during my first year. My marriage had become a volatile mess. I quit drinking and my wife didn’t. She started disliking me and didn’t want me around her anymore. Hey, I don’t blame her, I was goofy, emotional, depressed, I’m sure I was a drag to be around. We began our divorce process and I had to move out of our marital home. So during my first year of sobriety I took on a new career, got divorced and moved. In hindsight, I can see how all of those major changes and working all of those hours, actually saved my life. It helped me stay sober and set the foundation for me to learn how to live with change as a non-drinker. I’m not telling you these things trying to impress you, get you to feel sorry for me, or to make myself sound like I’m super powerful—I’m not. I’m just like you, major changes and problems occur in our lives, and we just have to make the best out of what happens.

You might not encounter major changes like this and that would be great. But just in case you do, let’s figure out the best way for you to prepare yourself for these changes. The first thing is to go slow. Slow your thinking and slow down your responses. Listen intently to what is being said to you and look closely at all the conditions. This doesn’t just apply to major decisions; this also applies to your daily interactions with other people. When you first sober up, you’re going to be extra hyper-sensitive and your reactions may be completely out of whack for the situation. Somebody can walk up to while you’re working and say, “Hi, how’s it going?” And you snap back with, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You’re always bothering me…it’s going, okay! Just leave me alone.”

For instance, your spouse, partner or your kids say something to you, and you start recriminating all of their faults and flaws in your head while they’re talking and you’re not listening to them. You need to slow down and listen, hear and digest what people are saying. They are not just noise generators—listen to their words. It’s tough, it requires patience, but by slowing down, this will calm you. So go slow and listen to people. If you have questions about the meaning of what the person said, then ask them. (And if you really want to drive someone crazy, just maintain calm while they’re all upset.)

So if you’re faced with a major dilemma or decision slow your mind down. See if you can defer making the decision, even if it’s just for a few minutes so you can think it out. And think it through clearly, even spend the time to make some notes. Write out the pros and cons to the decision. Write out the answer to this question: “If I make this decision, what’s the worst that can happen?”  By answering this question, you might discover that the outcome may not be all that terrible, and if things do turn out terrible, at least you’ll be able to ready yourself and have ideas and actions prepared in the event the worst does happen.

When it comes to major decisions, you may also want to seek the opinions of other people that you respect. Notice that I didn’t say “get their advice?” There’s a difference here. Taking advice is letting someone else tell you what to do; seeking an opinion is just getting someone else’s perspective. Let me clarify. When I’m asking someone for their opinion, I will say it this way, “Jim, I’m thinking that I should move out of my apartment. I just quit drinking and my roommate isn’t very helpful. What would YOU do if you were in my situation?” Notice that I didn’t ask J to tell me what I should do? I asked Jim what HE would do. Asking for opinions gives you different perspectives and you might uncover some ideas that you hadn’t even thought of.

So let me repeat this. Ask the person, “What would YOU do, if you were in my situation?” Don’t ask them, “What should I do?” Don’t give people the power to tell you what to do. Seek opinions, but come to your own decisions. You will have to be responsible and accountable for your decisions, but they will be YOUR decisions and you’ll be practicing making good, sober decisions.

I can’t stress this enough. When you first start to live sober, a lot of changes will take place with your body and your mind. You’ll be extra sensitive and the smallest, dumbest things may set you off. You’ll be emotionally confused and things that appear to be problems and dilemmas may feel bigger than they actually are. Your weakened mind will allow your imagination to run wild and you’ll think that the world is conspiring against you and everybody’s out to get you and the worst of every situation is happening.

When you don’t have all the facts, and you feel like a victim or a martyr, you will always think that the worst is happening. When you don’t know the facts and you don’t know what’s going on, it’s easy to imagine the worst. But when you slow down and try to get as many facts as possible, you will typically discover that the worst is NOT occurring.

So slow your mind down, think slowly, don’t jump to false conclusions, respond slowly. I don’t mean talk slowly or just sit there like a neutered cat. I mean think about things before you react or say something. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with other people. And accept the fact that you may have to DO some of the DON’TS. But go slow, things will get better.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“Choice overload.” (04/23/17)

April 23rd, 2017

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

When you are faced with too many choices you can become overwhelmed. You encounter “choice overload.” There are so many options that you get mentally fatigued and then either make an unwise choice or end up making no choice at all.

For instance, you go to the grocery store and there are 38 types of spaghetti sauce. Chunky with meat, Creamy without meat, Creamy with meat and onions, Chunky with mushrooms, Creamy without mushrooms, Creamy with chunky mushrooms. Who gives a fuck? You could stand there for an hour considering all of the ingredients, styles, price per ounce and the brands. Having so many choices uses up your valuable time standing there trying to decide. Often, if there are too many choices you just give up and don’t make any choice. Hey, it’s just spaghetti sauce so grab one and if you don’t like it then don’t buy it again.

Here’s another example. You go to Wal-Mart to look for a new TV. There are 100 TVs on display. Which one do you choose? Plus, there are a zillion different options, features, sizes and prices. Some stream, some don’t, some have built-in Blue Ray players, some don’t. Some have speakers but don’t stream, some stream but require a sound bar or surround sound system. I’ve seen families get into arguments over which TV to buy because of all the different features. (Is a TV really worth arguing about?) You may know exactly what features you want but there are still 20 of those models to choose from. You might end up spending more money than you had planned or you just get tired of thinking about it and buy the one that’s on sale. Or you might just say “fuck it” and buy nothing.

Getting sober can be just like that. There are a lot of choices to make and once you start thinking about all of your options you may end up doing nothing. Choice overload can really mess with your decision on sobriety. “Should I follow a program? Do I need to go to AA? Are there alternative programs? Which one should I follow? Should I go to rehab? Do I need medication? Do I need counseling? Do I even need to quit? Maybe I can just moderate? Maybe I’ll just have another drink and think about it?” Then you sit there and do nothing at all.

Then once you are sober there’s a different kind of choice overload. “Should I go out with my friends? Maybe I’ll meet them and leave early or should I tell them I’m busy? Maybe I shouldn’t go out at all? Maybe I should attend a meeting? Should I stay home and read? Should I stay home and work on some project or something productive. Maybe I should call a friend and ask them what they think I should do?”

You don’t have to let “choice overload” create anxiety and consume your valuable time. I’m going to offer some suggestions on how to cope with choice overload. I won’t offer too many choices; just a few suggestions on how to approach making decisions. Employing any one (or all) of these strategies will help cut down the number of choices that fall within a decision making category. There are 3 basic concepts: Filtering, setting limits and self-forgiveness.

Filtering. Make lists and know what you don’t want. When you know what you don’t want you can focus on the features and items that are appealing to your needs or wants. This can remove more than half of all the choices presented to you. Knowing what you don’t want is a definite time saver and it can help stave off feelings of second-guessing after you’ve made a decision. Lists help you focus on what you need and what you can avoid. Planning some of your meals ahead and then making a grocery lists will save you time and money. Daily project or chore “to do” lists will keep you focused on what you feel needs to get done and you’ll use your own time more efficiently.

Creating lists helps you filter out the items you don’t want. Knowing what I don’t want has been my best time and money saving system. I always consider what I don’t want in almost every category of my life. I use the “don’t want” philosophy when I’m considering buying a new product or food. I use that thought system when I’m deciding what type of job or career field to pursue. I use that thought system when it comes to nurturing friendships or relationships. I’ve been using the “don’t want” philosophy to make the best out of my sobriety.

By knowing what you don’t want you can zero in on what you DO want. This will automatically lower the amount of choices within a decision and help with choice overload.

Setting limits. Set size, amount, quantity or financial limits. So let’s say that you need or want a new TV but you can’t afford more than $300 (or don’t want to spend more than $300), then limit yourself to choosing from within that price range. I understand that isn’t always that easy. As I said earlier, you go to Wal-Mart to buy a TV and there’re 100 of them on display!  Decide BEFORE you go there how much you can afford to spend, what size will accommodate your area and what features aren’t necessary. Knowing that you don’t want or need certain features may allow you to buy a larger TV for less money.

Grocery lists help you set limits on how much food to buy. It’s a shame to waste your own money buying food that you’ll never eat or buying so much of something that you throw half of it away. Set your own size and quantity limits, based on your own consumption or usage history.

Setting financial limits will automatically narrow down your choices on most products.

Forgive yourself. This is a big one. If you happen to make an unwise choice (or what you feel was a wrong choice), forgive yourself and make a different choice. Try to learn what wasn’t right so you don’t repeat the same error. But absolutely forgive yourself and move on. You probably made a choice based on the data or knowledge that you had at the time. So, at the time, you made the best choice. If it didn’t turn out well, forgive yourself and move on.

Forgiving yourself may not help with “choice overload” but it will allow you to feel more comfortable about making future choices. You can make a decision and if it turns out to be a poor decision, you know that you’ll be able to forgive yourself. Even if a poor decision comes with unhappy consequences, forgive yourself and try not to repeat the same error.

Sometimes not making a choice is the best decision. Consciously saying, “I’m not going to make a choice right now” is a decision in itself. Maybe new knowledge will come to light or you may discover you actually can live without the item you thought you absolutely had to have.

Some choices are very important and will change your life; some won’t make any difference whatsoever. You’re smart enough to determine what the important choices in life are. Those are the one’s that you might want to spend some time to compile research on or think about before making a decision. Don’t give all choices and decisions the same respect. For small stuff, just make a choice and move on.

Regardless of whether it’s a BIG decision or a little decision, you still have to make a choice. Make your choice and be willing to adjust or adapt as you go along. Be willing to forgive yourself if you make a bad choice. And who’s to say it was a bad choice? Maybe it was a good choice but it didn’t turn out well or didn’t turn out as you had planned or hoped for?

Don’t let “choice overload” mire you into wasting time. Your time and your life are far too valuable. Make a choice. Pick a system, plan or program and then go with it. You can always adapt, adjust or change later.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“What did I do to deserve this?” (04/13/17)

April 13th, 2017

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

The subject of this particular blog/podcast was sparked by a question that I was asked by a follower of my Facebook page. She stated, “I just passed my one year anniversary of being sober. Over the past year everything has gone wrong, nothing is going right for me. What did I do to deserve this? I thought getting sober would make my life better? I’m not sure if this is all worth it?”

That’s a legitimate question. We often feel that things aren’t going our way because of something we did, “What did I do to deserve this?” (Do you ever ask that same question when things go right or when things turn out well? I’ll discuss that a little later.)

I believe that there are a few different answers to the question “What did I do to deserve this?” First we must remember that there are facts and there are perceptions. Perception is that we may feel as if things are always going wrong when in fact things probably aren’t all that bad. Things may also appear to be going wrong because the outcome wasn’t exactly what we wanted. There is also the element that our sober mind can see many of these events more clearly. Your sober mind will likely be more sensitive and your perception will amplify the difficult occurrences. Then there is also the element of random chaos and causative chaos.

Random chaos is when events and outcomes occur, due to NO fault of your own. While we may feel that a certain bad event was personally directed at us to make our life worse, the event was just “random”. That’s when we feel, “Why did this happen to me? I didn’t do anything wrong or bad.” Well you didn’t do anything wrong or bad, it was just random. Random bad luck and misfortunes are NOT personally directed at YOU. You have not been individually singled out by some invisible force to make you pay or to get even for something you did. The evil is not personally directed at you, but YOU happen to be personally involved and affected by it. Knowing this doesn’t change the facts of what may have happened, but it can help you improve your attitude and try to solve the problem.

Here’s a recent example from my life. I was moving from Ft. Myers FL to the lower Keys. As I was driving my RV across the Everglades a buzzard flew into my windshield. It completely shattered the glass right in front of me. The buzzard hit so hard it came through the bottom of the windshield. A few inches higher and it would have come right through, possibly hitting me!

The incident was certainly an inconvenience. I was in the middle of the Everglades and I had to be in the Keys to start my new job the next day. But I didn’t get all bent out of shape about it. I had to do some temporary repairs and continue my drive. My sober mind allowed me to address the problem and get going again.

This incident wasn’t due to any direct fault of my own. It was just a freak occurrence. (In fact, I feel lucky that I wasn’t hurt.) In my drinking days I would have taken this personally and would have let it upset me for quite a while.

Here’s another example. A very close friend of mine went through some extremely uncomfortable cancer treatments about a year ago. All signs looked optimistic for a complete recovery. But a few months ago the cancer returned with a vengeance. He now has to undergo more treatments. The cancer is absolutely due to no fault of his own. He is a strong, healthy man. He’s also a very good human being. He did NOTHING to deserve this. He’s fighting hard and willing to do whatever is necessary to get through this. I am envious of his sober and pragmatic attitude about this.

I’m sure you can think of things from your own life when you’ve said “What did I do to deserve this?” Your brand new car gets dented by a grocery cart in the parking lot, you get a flat tire, you catch a cold or possibly even some major disease. Things don’t go right. Shit breaks around the house, your computer crashes, I mean literally crashes because it falls off a table and busts into a million pieces on the floor. One thing after another keeps going wrong and you think, “What did I do to deserve this?”

You did nothing wrong to deserve it. I find it hard to believe that there is some invisible accountant in the sky, who makes sure that you are the recipient of bad fortune. But it’s only natural for the mind to try and find correlations to things. “Well I lied on my taxes, so my car being broken into must be payback.” You can think that way, but both good and bad occurrences are usually just random happenings.

The danger (as I see it), about conjuring up correlations, is that it can influence our emotions and future behaviors. For instance somebody might say, “I sobered up, I’m living a straight and narrow path, and then all this shit goes wrong. Fuck it, what’s the point, I was better off when I drank.” They might think they were better off when they drank, but they were probably too drunk at the time to realize that bad things were happening, or they couldn’t see that they were their own orchestrator of all this bad shit. They always blamed something or someone else. So our thoughts, emotions and possible future behavior is influenced by our own deluded belief that we are personally being persecuted by the invisible accountant in the sky.

I do believe that there are always reasons and causes for everything. When I talk about reasons and causes I’m just referring to hard data. Like the example of your brand new car getting hit by a grocery cart. The reason your car got dented was because a hard object hit it – that’s physics. The cause of the cart hitting it could be because it was windy out and you were parked at the end of the lot, on the bottom of a slope, unprotected by any other cars. That’s the reason and cause, but it was just a random occurrence, it had nothing to do with any payback for something you did in your past.

When we try to link a correlation between unlucky random events and our behavior, we are only harming our self and our self-esteem. Because we feel that we were somehow responsible for this event happening and then we feel guilt and self-pity. In fact, it’s pretty grandiose thinking to believe that the universe would conspire to torment you personally. Sorry, but you’re not that special, at least I’m not. Or let me put it this way, you go buy a single lottery ticket and you don’t win, well the universe didn’t conspire to make sure that you lost, because 17 million other dumb fucks lost too. It was just random that someone else won.

So try to keep yourself from feeling that unlucky and inconvenient events are designed as a personal attack against you, to make you pay for something. Instead of thinking, “What did I do to deserve this?” try thinking, “Well that sucks. Too bad this happened to me. But I’m still a good person, I’m not gonna change how I behave because of this.”

Now let me get to causative chaos. This is when your behavior is in direct correlation to an event occurring and that’s for both good and bad events. For example, someone goes to school, they study hard, they work hard, they’re involved in their education, they graduate with a high grade point average and they send out a hundred résumés and they get their dream job or are highly sought after by employers. This isn’t random luck; this is a self-orchestrated, causative occurrence. They took action and they were instrumental in directing the opportunity for good things to happen.

But what if they do all of those things; study hard, graduate, send out a hundred résumés and nobody hires them? There could be thousands of unseen reasons why they don’t get hired. Maybe the places they applied weren’t hiring, maybe someone else was more qualified, maybe they got their résumé in a day after someone else was hired. Who knows, but the perceived bad luck that they’re having is random bad luck and eventually, their behavior and their actions will have a positive causative effect.

And this causative chaos is just like drinking. When you drink to excess, chances are good that something bad will eventually happen. Or maybe you sobered up for a while and you think, “AW, maybe I can go back and play with this.” Then when all the drama, problems and bullshit resurface you ask yourself, “What did I do to deserve this?” Well the answer is: “You started drinking again, that’s what you did to deserve this. You caused it to happen.” That’s like when someone gets arrested for drunk driving and they blame the police, the bartender or somebody else. “Aw I can’t believe my luck. I got arrested and I was only two blocks from my house. Now I’m gon’na lose my license, I might lose my job and I might have to move. Fucking cops. What did I do to deserve this?” Believe me, I hear this from people all the time and all I can say is, “You did it to yourself. That’s why you deserve this. You drove drunk, you broke the law. Quit blaming everybody else.”

When you live a dangerous or self-destructive lifestyle, all sorts of bad shit CAN and WILL happen. There is a definite correlation between your actions and the occurrences that take place. Hey, if you wanna live drunk, go ahead, but don’t be shocked and surprised when bad shit happens.

And there’s the flip side to this. You can cause good things to happen and when they do you should still ask the same question, “What did I do to deserve this?” For instance, I live near Key West. I’m in paradise and I have the opportunity to enjoy a challenging job. It’s hard work and there can be a lot of pressure at times, but as I just said, “I live in paradise.” I worked very hard to earn this opportunity. I studied and researched as much as I could. I made certain that I was qualified for this job. So that’s what I did to deserve it – I did the work. I feel lucky and fortunate, but I can clearly see a correlation between my efforts and my pleasant results.

When things go well for you, spend some time to reflect on what you did to help things go right and then repeat that same attitude and behavior. You have the ability to make things turn out in your favor. You can cause good things to happen.

With all that said, I wish you the best of happiness, contentment and good luck in your life, because that is what you deserve.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“Self-imposed limits.” (03/08/17)

March 8th, 2017

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

Do you have limits in your life? Are they self-imposed limits or are they imposed by someone else? Are there limits which are out of your control? Most of us do have certain limits which are out of our control. (i.e., Financial limits. Physical limits. Intellectual limits.)

Let’s look at ways to be personally involved when there are limits imposed upon YOU. For instance, if you get paid $12 per hour you can’t live outside of those financial limits. You need to accept that limit and devise a self-imposed budget. You allow yourself to spend only so much on various expense categories. You must limit yourself with purchases and buying choices. If you live outside of or beyond those limits, bills and collections will catch up with you and your conditions will only get worse. If you don’t like your externally imposed income limits, then you must take it upon yourself to qualify for and find a higher paying job. Even if you earn gobs of obscene money at your job, you still have to impose some limits or you’ll end up running out of that obscene money.

I have held many jobs and still do work that I don’t care for, but I’m good at it and it helps me pay my bills. I then do the type of work I love doing on my own personal time. These are all self-imposed limits and ultimately it comes down to choice. I will choose to take a job even if I don’t like it as long as it serves my financial purposes.

I am no better and no worse than anyone else. Yet I find it interesting that we are able to see all the flaws and misbehaviors of others. (But we’re unable to see ourselves, even when we’re staring directly into a mirror.) “Jesus, can you believe that guy? Why does he do that? Can’t he see what he’s doing?” And how many people say that about me or you? This concept seems to apply when it comes to limits. We see the limits of others (or question why the other person is unable to set limits on themselves), while at the same time we think that we ourselves are limitless. I’m surprised at how guilty I am of this. I try very hard to not be a judge about others and judge only myself. Please don’t be bamboozled into thinking that I’m a soft, caring, introspective person. I want my own life and world to be better. Because I know that I have certain limitations and I’m not equal to some others, I need to enlist their help. If I can become a better and more valuable person for them, then they’ll help me get what I want. I always hope that others will benefit as a result of my actions, but it’s only a just a bonus if they do.

I accept my limitations. That doesn’t mean that I acquiesce and give up. When I know and understand an external limitation, I think about ways to circumvent the limitation. How can I make the best out of the situation? How can I use what I have or am able to do to make the best of this? Is there an alternative so I don’t have to deal with this limitation? And you can do this as well. You can also impose self-limitations and accept them.

I can’t drink (well, I can drink but I choose not to), so I have self-imposed limits as to my social lifestyle. I may go to a bar or a club with friends, but I limit the amount of time I’m willing to spend there. I may offer to be the designated driver, but I’m not going to hang out all night while everybody gets loaded. I usually take my own car and meet everyone there. I only take a limited amount of money with me so I’m not tempted to overspend or start buying drinks for people. By imposing my own limits, I have maintained my sobriety, developed a calmer life and it has helped me to value myself more.

Another type of self-imposed limit is staying out of others people’s drama and problems. There’s nothing wrong with helping out a friend or even helping someone you don’t know. I know people who are so involved in everyone else’s life that they don’t have time to take care of their own stuff. Everyone else is an emergency. They aren’t nosy busy-bodies, they just like to be helpful. But all their helping of others is eating up their own life.

Someone else’s problem does not have to be an emergency for you. It’s difficult to help someone else when your own life (or mind) is in disrepair. You might feel like you’re missing out on something or that you aren’t in the “loop.” I believe that the biggest waste of time and the biggest infraction of setting self-imposed limits is allowing yourself to get involved in everyone else’s drama.

I limit how involved I’m willing to get in someone else’s dramas. I’m not being heartless, but I have limits. My time is valuable. My sanity is valuable. My friendship is valuable. If I’m just going to be drained or sucked into someone else’s drama, I step away. I “Make NO useless acquaintances [in life].” I limit how much I’m willing to give of myself. If I’m not appreciated, respected or receive something in return, I limit my involvement. I am truly sorry if you think this all sounds so cold and calculated. The truth is that I cannot be of benefit to anyone else by crucifying myself. I can’t help anyone until I help myself.

I know that it feels good to help a friend. I know that it feels good to be useful, needed and important. But there has to be limits. Sometimes you just have to say “NO.” You have to be able to say “no” to yourself and to others. You aren’t being mean when you say “no” to someone or to something. When dealing with others you can offer an explanation or offer an alternative when you say “no.” Offering an alternative might go something like this: “I can’t come over right now, but I can come over Friday afternoon and help you with it.” You’re softly saying “no” but you’re also saying “yes” to what you can or will do.

Saying “no” with an explanation can be tough. (While I agree that honesty is usually the best policy, it is not always advisable.) For instance you don’t have to tell someone, “I don’t want to hang out with you because you’re a drunk (or I don’t like you).” You can offer some other ambiguous reason. “I can’t go out and party tonight. I’ve gotten so far behind on so many projects and I just need to get some of this stuff done. Maybe next time.” And maybe next time you will go hang out with them—but on your own terms. And you don’t have to disclose the terms. There will be times when you actually DO have other things to take care of or you have your own life responsibilities to tend to (umm, like staying sober).

Self-imposed limits will save you from loads of heartaches, problems and unnecessary dramas. Setting your own self-imposed limits will help you feel valuable and worthwhile. It will build your self-esteem. You ARE valuable. Your time, your heart and your talents are worth a lot more than money. Don’t just throw yourself around to any request that comes your way.

Self-imposed limits will become easier the more you practice them. Self-imposed limits will allow you to get control over your life. Self-imposed limits will also help you to value yourself. No one can take advantage of you unless you let them. And if anyone is going to take advantage of you or put a limit on you, it should be YOU. Take control of your life and set your own limits.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“Life beyond sobriety.” (03/04/17)

March 4th, 2017

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

Once you’re sober, you can’t get any soberer. After the first 72 hours or so, that’s it, you’re sober. Oh sure, you can get healthier and smarter. You can improve your relationships with people as time passes. You can learn to be a calmer and more pleasant person. You can develop a sense of gratitude and appreciation for small things in life. You can improve your standard of living and do great things for your own life. But you can’t get any more sober. Once you’re there, that’s it. Making the best out of your sobriety becomes a lifelong undertaking and that’s “Life beyond sobriety.”

I spent most of my adolescence and adult life getting drunk and doing drugs. I’ve been completely clean and sober for over 11 years. But that still means I spent more years drunk and loaded than sober. Yet now, living as a non-drinker and non-user is very normal for me and I’ve almost forgotten about being a former drug addict and boozer. (Almost)

When I first stopped drinking and doing drugs, all I could think about, talk about and work on was staying sober. As time passed and I began to feel better (both physically and mentally), I began thinking about my future life. I held high hopes that sobriety would bring me a better life. I kept waiting. Time passed. Nothing. I would sit there and think, “Okay, I’m sober. Now what?” After about two years of doing that I had an awakening. For whatever reason, I realized that sobriety itself wouldn’t bring me anything. I knew that I had to take action and utilize my sober mind and sober body to create a better life for myself. Sobriety alone wasn’t going to do it for me.

I began writing out a plan. I wrote out all the things I wanted and didn’t want as a result of living sober. I wrote out goals and made a list of activities I needed to perform to achieve those goals. I wrote out how I wanted to behave in social situations. I wrote out ideas of how I can avoid and address all of life’s temptations. I wrote out a list of my skills and weaknesses. I then had a clear picture of what I was good at and what areas I needed to work on. I wrote out a list of my natural abilities and my limitations. I could then move my life and career in a more positive direction by taking advantage of my own natural abilities. I wrote everything out in great detail. I compiled all of those self-help ideas and writings then organized them into a book. That book is titled: Okay, I quit. Now what? Becoming a Re-Invented Alcoholic.

However, after doing all of that writing and following my own advice for all of these sober years, I still seem to be missing out on something. But I have the good fortune to know what’s wrong. As my sober time passes I’ve been getting lazy. I’ve been forgetting to regularly think about and write out what I want out of sobriety and what I want from a sober life. I’ve become complacent with regard to utilizing my sobriety for my own benefit. But this isn’t just based around laziness, I’ve grown slightly bored with sobriety. No, I’m not at risk of relapsing.

I don’t want to say that I’m disappointed with sobriety, I’m disappointed with myself and what I’ve been able to do for myself with my sobriety. When I first quit I believed that I would be happier, more successful, smarter and make wiser decisions. I’m sure that all of those things have come true, but not to the level or sensation of experience I had hoped for. I have no hesitation in saying that for fact I am healthier, wiser, more knowledgeable, better educated, more financially stable and my life is far calmer than at any time when I was drinking and using. But it still feels like something is missing; I haven’t made the most out of my sober body and mind.

My hope is that YOU DO make a wonderful sober life for yourself. Think about what you want from a sober life and make a written list of goals. I did that for a few years and I was able to accomplish my goals, but now I need to remind myself of how to continue making the most out of my sobriety. I need to go back and follow my own advice.

This article isn’t just me blathering on about me. I want to jog your memory a bit. I want to get you thinking about your own life. Maybe you can recognize some similarities between us. Maybe you’ve found yourself becoming complacent and lazy with your sobriety.

Living beyond sobriety is like getting a new puppy. It’s fun and exciting to get a new puppy. There are a few headaches that come with it. There are some messes and of course there’s the training and attention that a puppy needs. But you get used to it and in a little while you forget all about the “newness” of the puppy. Then six months go by, a year, then 2 years and you suddenly realize you have a dog! You might see an old picture or find something that reminds you of how small and awkward your puppy was. But you didn’t see it growing and evolving hour by hour and day by day. But now you have a full grown dog and it’s a normal part of your life and you’re used to it. That’s what living beyond sobriety is like. It becomes a normal part of your life and you get used to it. That’s when you might become complacent and stop working at making the best out of your sobriety.

I’m not inferring that by being complacent you’re at risk of a relapse. A relapse is a possibility, but I’m more concerned that you continue to grow a better life and a better existence for yourself by using your sobriety. Use your clear mind to enjoy your life. Use your clear mind to discover your natural talents and interests. Exploit yourself. If anybody’s going to exploit you it should be you. Use your clear mind to learn more and engage with the world more. This is it. This is YOUR sobriety. Take advantage of it. Make the most out of it. You’ve worked too hard to get to this point. Don’t allow complacency to derail your train.

I can pretty safely presume that if I ever started drinking again, most of my immediate world would begin to collapse within about a week. I have worked too hard and have made too much progress to let it all slip away in such a short amount of time. (Okay, it may not ALL collapse that fast, but it would certainly start unraveling quickly.) Besides, I’ve given YOU my word of honor that I won’t go back to drinking. I may not know you personally, but I’ve made you a promise and I will stick to my promise.

So my challenge to you is this: “What are you going to do with your sober life? What do you want out of sobriety? How will you make the best out of it? How can you get the most out of your own brilliant sober mind and make a wonderful life for yourself and for those who you care about?” Or you can sit around and be miserable. You can feel sorry for yourself. You can feel guilty about your past. You can feel as shitty or as angry as you want. But as long as you’re sober, why not make the best out of it?

The emotions and results of sobriety are always evolving. Change and evolve with your sobriety. Stay involved in your sobriety by always thinking about how you can make the most out of it. Please do me a favor and make the best out of your life. Chances are good that this is the only one you’ll ever have. Go out there and live beyond sobriety.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“Can’t I ever catch a break? Or can I?” (02/07/17)

February 7th, 2017

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

Have you ever heard yourself saying, “Can’t I ever catch a break? Why does everything always have to go wrong?” Awww, I’m sure you’ve never said that. Everything goes perfectly as planned in your life. I must be the only one who ever feels that way. But in the event you have felt as if you can never catch a break, please read on.

To simplify writing, I’m going to often speak in the context of “me” and “I”, but I’m referring to all of us. So please put yourself in place when I use the words “me” or “I”.

It always seems like I can never catch a break! Shit is almost always going wrong for me or nothing goes as planned. I’m like the kiss of death. Whatever I touch turns to dog shit. Or does it? Just because I didn’t get what I wanted (or thought I wanted), doesn’t mean that I didn’t catch a break.

So as I daily grouse, “Can’t I ever catch a break?” Maybe I DO catch more good breaks than bad breaks. But it seems that the bad breaks always stand out more, even when they’re small bad breaks. The good breaks feel incidental and feel few and far between. But compounded, I know that all the good breaks add up.

I wanted to get a better perspective on this. I wanted to analyze this mathematically. I’ve thought on this for quite a long time. But because there are so many variables and unknowns, I can’t even come up with a simple math equation or even  a complicated algebraic equation to allow for or include variables and unknowns. For instance, 1 bad break may have more dire implications than 20 good breaks and vice versa, in that 1 good break may outweigh 20 smaller bad breaks.

But for simplicity sake, let’s say that I catch a good break 50% of the time. Thus, 50% of 2 is 1. The same 50% ratio reveals more total good and bad break occurrences when I undertake more attempts. 50% of 10 is 5 and 50% of 40 is 20. The total number of good and bad breaks increases with the more attempts I try. That’s why it seems that the more you try the harder things get and the fewer strokes of luck come your way. But that’s how the mathematics of it works. The more attempts I make the higher number of failures occur but I also have more successes in total. Yet it’s those failures (big and small) that seem to stand out more.

So, how can I (and you), overcome this mental appearance of never catching a break? How can we maintain a pro-active and positive attitude when we already know that mathematically there will be failures? (In essence: Why try if you already know that you’re going to fail?) If your answer is, “I pray,” or “Let go and let God,” well then that’s fine, you don’t have to read any more. But if you’re the type of person that doesn’t expect God to do everything for you, then read on.

Still reading? Cool. Here are a few things to consider. Even in the face of likely failure, you don’t know what knowledge the failure will lead to. Failure at one attempt may reveal a better or different route to take. It may also reveal evidence that shows “don’t try this again.” Failures can point you in a better direction. A small failure now can save you from a huge failure later.

What does it mean to “catch a break?”

How many times have you felt something was a bad break but then turned out positive? (Not to be confused with “Everything turns out for the best” or “If it was meant to be…” bullshit.) I am a firm believer that, “Things don’t always turn out for the best, but you CAN make the best of how things turned out.” That doesn’t mean the outcome will be the best, but at least you’ve attempted at making the best from the situation. I could give plenty examples of things that didn’t turn out for the best. Not just from my life but many other people’s lives. Usually things just turn out how they turn out. But with a pro-active attitude you can make something good out of a bad break.

How many times have you not gotten what you wanted (and felt like you didn’t catch a break), only to go on to something even greater? So maybe by not catching a break today you actually DID catch a break? Consider things which have happened in your own life. I’ve had plenty of situations where I thought I didn’t catch a break but then better events unfolded as a result. I’ve also had plenty of instances when I thought I had caught a good break but then I ended up in a worse spot.

Because of all the variables, unseen happenings and unknowns, a good break in life is often veiled behind a bad break. I have also found that “good breaks” take time to unfold. Some innocuous event takes place today or you have a chance meeting with someone, which then, months or years later turns out to have been a lucky break, but it seemed like nothing at the time. How many times have I been lucky (or caught a break), and I was unaware of it?

I also believe that to “catch a break” you need to have a clear vision (or written statement) of concrete end results. “I just want to be happy,” is too ambiguous. What is the concrete reference point? Maybe you’re already happy but you don’t know it? I feel you should have clearly defined goals and definitive “end results” in mind.

You can help yourself catch more “lucky breaks” when you have clear goals and prepare yourself with knowledge and skills. Then you have to make attempts. You can’t get a job if you don’t apply for one. You can’t be successful or happy if you don’t apply yourself and you can’t “catch a break” if you don’t make any attempts at something. And just because you reached a goal or accomplished an end result does that mean you caught a lucky break? Weren’t there many points and stages along the way? What if your final goal is achieved but it was a struggle laced with many failures and only a few “lucky breaks” occurred along the way?

Louis Pasteur said, “Chance befalls the prepared.” (Often misquoted as, “Luck befalls the prepared.”) But I feel that “chance” is actually a better word. Because when you are prepared with knowledge and skills, then make an attempt, your “chance” for a successful outcome is much higher. You may get some lucky breaks along the way, but you can be proud of YOU because YOU did the work and allowed for luck to come your way.

There’s also an old saying that goes: “Be careful of what you wish for because it may come true.” I believe it should be stated: “Be careful of what you attempt because it may come true.” For instance, you may apply for a certain job, and you hope that you get it. You’re all excited because you DO get the job but then it turns out to be a miserable job. The same thing happens in relationships, marriages, friendships, businesses, investments, all sorts of areas of life. So when something doesn’t go your way, remember that it may be a good break after all because a good break in life is often veiled behind a bad break.

This subject has a lot of relevance with sobriety. When things go wrong I might feel like drinking. When things go right I might feel like having a celebratory drink. But I know that drinking will not improve my ratio of catching good breaks. In fact, I’d most likely have more failures and make fewer intelligent attempts if I were to start drinking again. However, my clear mind gets over stimulated and I start thinking that I should be catching more good breaks now that I’m a non-drinker. Sobriety owes me nothing and sobriety guarantees me nothing. Drinking would only make things worse (but I’d be too drunk to realize it, until everything imploded on me again). Sobriety has allowed me to make fewer dumb mistakes and I can recover faster from the mistakes I do make. So my sober mind has helped me improve my ratio of good breaks versus bad breaks. It just doesn’t always feel that way.

I may feel as if I can’t catch a break in life, but the reality is that I DO catch more good breaks than I think. I just need to be a bit more realistic about my desires and be a little less demanding and expecting of what I want from myself. I should also be a bit more grateful and appreciative of the breaks I have gotten. I need to be more appreciative of my sobriety and not be demanding or expecting of my sobriety. Going back to being a boozer won’t do me much good. It won’t advance my success rate any and it won’t help me accomplish more goals. It might help me forget about the failures of the past and present, but it won’t set the stage for future successes. It will only enable me to catch more bad breaks.

As for you, I hope that you prepare yourself with knowledge and skills so that more and more good breaks come your way. I hope you see them coming your way and that you take advantage when they happen. I genuinely hope that your end result turns out better than you ever imagined.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“Make booze pay you back.” (12/28/16)

December 28th, 2016

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

This isn’t about getting rich quick; this is about making good use of the money you no longer spend on booze or drugs. I mention in my books that I wanted to “make booze pay me back,” and I have been able to do just that. I get a fair amount of emails from people asking me how they can do this as well. The answer is that there are a few ways to do this. One way is very simple, other ways are a bit more complicated. Investing in various financial instruments involves deep and sometimes complex nuances. However, with a basic education in finance, some self-discipline and a plan, you can make booze pay you back.

People want fast results. “Okay, I quit drinking this morning and it’s already noon but I’m still not a millionaire. This is bullshit.” Life takes time. Accumulating and retaining wealth takes time and getting the most out of your sobriety takes time, a plan and you taking action on your plan. I’m going to offer you some ideas for a plan to make booze pay you back.

I stopped drinking more than 10 years ago and ever since I’ve been investing in beer, wine and booze stocks. (I invest in many other sectors but booze is part of my diversification.) This is the primary method I use to have booze pay me back, but I began this journey with a very simple strategy, I started a “Sobriety Savings Account.”

A lot of people hate to admit how much they spend (or have spent) on booze and drugs. The reason is because the numbers don’t lie. When I stopped drinking and doing drugs I was curious about this. I began doing the math. I couldn’t believe how much money I had wasted on getting wasted. It hurt me at first. I felt like a real idiot. But then I began realizing some truths in the other direction. I thought, “If I stashed away the same amount of money I was spending, here’s what it will add up to over 30 days, 90 days, one year, five years, and beyond.” I suddenly became excited. I could see that I could do something positive for myself. I couldn’t get back what I had wasted, but I could begin to set a more secure future for myself. So here’s how YOU can begin to make booze pay you back.

Start with a “Sobriety Savings Account.” (I go into great detail on this in my book: Okay, I quit. Now what? But I’ll be brief here.) How much did you (or do you) typically spend on booze or drugs every week? You need to be honest with yourself about this. $100 a week isn’t out of the question. If you spend/spent $100 per week that averages to $14.28 per day. $50 a week averages to $7.14 per day. (At $100 a week that’s $400 a month and $4,800 a year!)

So here’s what I’m going to ask you to do. If you’ve stopped drinking, then set aside—EVERY DAY—the amount you would have spent on booze or drugs. After you have $100 stashed away, go to a bank and open a brand new account. (Make sure it’s a different bank from your regular bank or the account isn’t tied to your other accounts. There are specific reasons for this.) From here on out all of the money that you are no longer spending—and now saving—will be going into that account. You’ll surprise and impress yourself by how much you amass after 30, 60 and 90 days. That’s providing you stick to your plan.

Saving up your money into a “Sobriety Savings Account” is a concrete way of seeing what you’re doing for yourself. This is one way you can reward yourself (or your family) for your sobriety. When you have money stashed away in a “Sobriety Savings Account” it will have a calming effect on you. You won’t be as nervous about the future. You’ll know that in the event of an emergency you’ll have a safety net and you won’t have to charge everything and go deeper into debt. It can also help you establish goals. Your goal may be to have enough money to pay for advanced schooling, to buy a car, to take a vacation or to do something special for your family.

None of this reflects greed or anything evil. Money isn’t evil, the greed of money can make people evil. The fact is that without money you can’t afford to take care of yourself or your family. You can’t afford pleasant housing, nicer clothes, better food, a better education and many other conveniences. You do want to treat yourself and your family well, don’t you? You need money to do that. You needed money to buy booze and drugs, unless you traded “favors” for it. Don’t be afraid of money. Money isn’t evil, the greed of money can make people evil.

Next I’m going to talk about investing in booze. To some of you this won’t be new information. I certainly don’t want to insult anyone with my simple explanations or examples. But many people have never owned individual stocks and even more have no idea of all the terms and nuances involved with investing. This article is purely to answer a common question I receive, and I want to answer it in the simplest form.

Investing in stocks or Mutual Funds isn’t right for everyone. Some people don’t like the ups and downs. It makes them nervous. And investing requires money, sometimes a LOT of money. To buy a worthwhile amount of an individual stock you’ll need anywhere from $5,000.00 to $15,000.00. (At this writing, 100 shares of BUD would cost $10,350.00 at $103.50 per share.) Most of us don’t have that kind of money laying around. So that’s why you start with a Sobriety Savings Account and then move that money into a Mutual Fund and invest monthly into your Mutual Fund. Once the money builds, then you may feel like buying shares of an individual company.

When you’re comfortable and ready, you can buy stock positions in individual companies using the brokerage you have your Mutual Fund with. There are plenty of good companies out there. T. Rowe Price, Fidelity and Schwab are a few examples. You can research them through their websites.

Regardless of whether you buy individual stocks or Mutual Funds, I suggest that you follow a DRIP program. DRIP (Dividend Re-Investment Plan). This means that instead of you receiving a dividend check every 3 months, the amount you would receive in a check is used to purchase MORE shares of the stock. This strategy is used by most long-term (and wealthy) investors. If you plan on holding the stock for 3 years or more, then a DRIP is in your better interest. You will accumulate more shares and get more dividends every 3 months. The exponential growth of compounding is your friend. However, if you like to receive a check, then take the dividends in cash. But remember that the amount you receive is based on how many shares you own. So, a .32 cent quarterly dividend on 100 shares means you’ll receive a $32.00 check every 3 months. That same dividend of .32 cents on 1,000 shares means you’ll receive a $320.00 check every 3 months.

If you want to research some “sin stocks” here are a few stock symbols worth looking at: BUD, TAP, DEO, STZ, MO, RJR, PM, BTI. You can type the stock symbol into a site like Yahoo Finance and learn all about the company. You can see if, when and how much of a dividend it pays and find out much more information about the company, its products and history.

A lot of people are interested in buying Marijuana stocks. The following is strictly my opinion. Medical marijuana and decriminalization of personal amounts is happening. But the product hasn’t passed through to the level of consumer availability such as beer, wine, booze and tobacco. Legalized marijuana is coming. At some future point it will become commercially available to the public. But who do you think wants a piece of that action? Beer and booze companies want to own their competitors. Tobacco companies are perfectly positioned to grow, process, package and distribute pot. As an investor, I feel that individual pot stocks might be a bit risky right now. If you’re so possessed, you might be best served to “jump & dump.” That means buy the stock and be ready to dump it at a reasonable profit (providing that the stock actually does go up). Publicly traded pot growers and manufacturers won’t be paying any dividends soon. The cost to start and run a large, publicly traded legal pot growing or production company is too high for dividend returns. Tobacco and beer companies are better positioned to make a profit and pay dividends when pot does become a legal product.

Always perform research and understand the basics BEFORE investing any of your money. There is risk involved when you invest in stocks or Mutual Funds. What you bought may be worth less than what you paid for it when the time comes that you need or want to sell it. You CAN lose money. But if you invest conservatively and with a long time-horizon you will most likely make money. If the risk is uncomfortable for you, then at the very least start a “Sobriety Savings Account.” The money will be there when you need it or want it. Your savings account may not keep pace with inflation but at least you won’t have frivolously squandered money that you were once spending on booze or drugs.

If you want to look deeper into how you can get the most out of YOUR money and learn to enjoy your money, I encourage you to get a copy of my book: Living Broke Sucks! You can find it in paperback, eBook and audiobook through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places.

There are also plenty of good books out there which are specifically written for beginning investors and most brokerage websites offer free tutorials and explanations of words, terms and strategies. Naturally the websites want you to invest your money through them. I don’t want your money. I would just like you to buy my book once and then apply what you learn to keep more of and enjoy more of your own money.

Over the years I spent a lot of money on the creation of piss and vomit. (I conservatively estimate it to be over $109,000.00) I won’t berate myself for how much I had wasted. In fact, I had a pretty good time while doing it. And back then, had I not spent my money on booze or drugs I probably would have squandered it on something else. But today, because I have a different level of knowledge and because I have a different type of understanding, I will make better use out of the limited money that I have. So now with the money I am no longer spending on booze and drugs, I will use that money to make booze pay me back. That’s why I own “sin stocks.” Every time someone opens a Bud or a Coors, they’re paying ME. Every time someone drinks a Rum & Coke, they’re paying ME. Every time someone lights up a Camel, Winston or a Marlboro, they’re paying ME. Each can, glass or bottle of beer, bottle of booze, soda or a cigarette is a miniscule fraction of a penny put into my pocket. But compounded and paid over time, it all adds up. So I say, “Drink more and smoke more. Spill it on the bar, throw it up or just piss it away. Keep on drinking because you’re going to make me rich.”

The bottom line is that I suggest you do something specific with the money you were once (but are no longer), spending on booze or drugs. If you don’t specifically do something with it, the money will simply disappear. You’ll end up spending it on something else and you may not even know what you’re spending it on.

I receive no financial gain if you follow any of these strategies. I want nothing out of this other than to motivate you to live better. Do something positive for yourself and for your family. Starting in 2017, make booze pay you back!

(Disclosure statement.) I personally use T. Rowe Price as my brokerage. I own some type of position in every stock mentioned in this article. I make no endorsements on any particular stock or Mutual Fund to buy. The only recommendation I have is that you at the very least start a “Sobriety Savings Account.”

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places. I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.

“I’ve come to accept this.” (12/21/16)

December 21st, 2016

Click HERE to listen to podcast of this blog article.

This wasn’t an easy article for me to write. I didn’t want it to sound as if I’m unhappy or dissatisfied with my sobriety and I certainly don’t want to sound discouraging to anyone who’s just in the early stages or thinking about living as a non-drinker or non-user. I’d also been struggling with using the word “accept” in this article. The word accept almost has a defeatist sound to it. I want to clarify my use of the word accept by stating that living as a non-drinker is a conscious exchange that I am making. Therefore, the word accept (or accepting), is a part of my sobriety.

On to the real meat of this article:

I’m not completely thrilled with how things have turned out since I stopped drinking. But I’ve accepted it. I’ve accepted that there will be limitations by living a clean and sober life. Social limitations, emotional limitations, recreational limitations, all kinds of limitations. But the benefits of living clean and sober far outweigh the downside. So I accept that I must stay sober if I want to live a better and healthier life.

There are things that I wish were different or that would improve. We all have those feelings regardless of if we’re drunks or not. My life is now so different in so many ways than it ever was. I accept that it’s different. I accept that in exchange for a quieter lifestyle I am improving my chances towards better conditions. I accept that I have exchanged a “buzz” for a calmer and more productive existence. Are some things still missing? Sure, but I accept how things are now and I will continue to use my sober mind to develop a plan and then work at what actions I can take to allow for improvement to happen.

Ever notice that it’s easy to accept substandard living conditions as a drunk or a user. As a drunk or a user we tend to allow for or accept more shitty situations. Being broke or feeling like shit becomes acceptable. Drama and ridiculous problems almost become the norm. Getting loaded may be fun, but accepting a shitty existence isn’t. I am no longer willing to accept a shitty existence. I know and accept that certain things are out of my control, but with my clear mind I am able to evaluate my conditions and then think through the problems and develop a plan to overcome or go around the problems.

It’s getting easier for me to accept better living conditions as a sober person while at the same time accepting a quieter lifestyle. But this is a weird statement for me. I have by no means grown into a boring or sedentary person. I do a lot of crazy, if not dangerous shit. I seem to miss the thrill of a buzz, so I purposely place myself in some demanding situations for the exhilaration of it. How weird for me to say that “I’m not thrilled with how things have turned out,” but at the same time be able to say that I’ve experienced more and accomplished more worthwhile things in my last 10 years of sobriety than I did (or can remember) from all my years as a drunk. But I still seem to be missing something. I believe that others who have stopped destructive substance use might feel the same way.

Does my sobriety (and your own sobriety), really have anything to do with this? I don’t know. It could just be a side effect of life. But I do know that in some areas there is a direct correlation between sobriety and my “less than thrilling” life. For instance, it’s not thrilling being sober and single. Where do you go to meet uninhibited lunatics who don’t drink? Friends of mine ask me to join them at their church groups. They tell me, “Oh you should come. You’ll meet a nice girl.” I don’t want to meet a nice girl; I like dirty girls. It wouldn’t be proper for me to go hang out at a church when I don’t have the same beliefs or passions as someone who is at a church group. I won’t go to AA or NA meetings. That would be just as disingenuous of me. And besides, going to meetings or church functions with the specific intent of meeting someone seems a bit perverse to me.

Please don’t misinterpret that I’m complaining about my status. I am genuinely in a better position in life than had I kept drinking or started drinking again. But this is just my impression of how things are. I use the words “my impression” because this is how things feel to me. In all logic I know that things are better and that I should be happier than I am. It isn’t that I’m unhappy or dissatisfied. I’m not disappointed by my sobriety. What I am is I’m a bit disappointed with myself and my capacity to make the best out of my sobriety for myself. I know that sobriety doesn’t comes with guarantees of happiness or worldly success. It simply brings opportunity to think clearer. Happiness and worldly success is then left up to us as individuals.

I’m not using this as a platform for me to cry my blues. My hope is to assist you with an honest embracing and acceptance of what living as a non-drinker or non-user will or will not bring you. Your outcomes may be completely different than mine. Your sobriety may lead to extreme happiness within your family, career or social circle. You may not become bored or ever feel as if you’re missing out on something.

And then again you may feel disappointed because your sober life isn’t bringing you what you hoped for or thought that it would. It’s okay to be disappointed, but don’t become disheartened. I assure you that you will be better off (or at least not as bad off), physically and financially when you remove destructive substance overuse from your life. Odds become stacked in your favor when you approach life with a clear mind. A clear mind (or sobriety) doesn’t guarantee anything. But your clear mind allows you to better assess situations and gain the knowledge necessary to make better decisions.

I have come to accept that I have made such an exchange. I’m not saying that I accept boredom or that I am beaten by sobriety. I accept that there will be elements to my exchange. I accept that in exchange for a healthier body and healthier mind I must forego some things that I only perceived as exciting. I have no regrets about the exchange and I truly hold hope that I will discover more answers for this dilemma. I know, (or at least hold trust), that the odds of life improvement are better as a non-user than as a user.

I can promise you that things will change within your life. I’m confident that some of those changes will be unwanted. But none the less, I ask that you accept those changes. Accept them as truth. Accepting situations truthfully doesn’t mean you become a defeatist; you become a realist. Once you accept the facts and get a clear understanding of all the conditions surrounding those facts, you can then set your mind to work to think about different ways how you can make those changes work to your advantage or how you can work around the things you don’t like. So you see, I’m not suggesting that you accept a boring, unfulfilling or bad existence in your sobriety. Accept that you are making a conscious exchange: you’re exchanging sobriety for a better life. And within that exchange I would like you to be accepting of certain limitations, but then work with or around those limitations.

I don’t wish to confuse or dissuade anyone from making positive changes within their life. But with change comes exchanges. I believe that some of these exchanges will be uncomfortable and sometimes difficult to accept. I hope that by openly and honestly discussing these feelings we’ll both get a better idea of what the right answers are. Believe it or not, I would like to stimulate you into finding your happiness, because if you’re happy then that helps me become happy. And I do genuinely wish happiness and contentment for you and I believe that eliminating destructive drinking from your life will put you in a position to reach your happiness.

These are my own opinions and observations. Please, think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. If you enjoy this stuff or get something out of it please tell your friends about my blog, podcasts and website. I invite you to pick up one of my books: “Okay, I quit. Now what?” “Living Sober Sucks!” “Living Broke Sucks!” “Drunk Dad–Sober Dad” and “A Vampire Story–the first 30 days sober“. You can find my books in paperback, eBook or if you prefer, you can get my Audiobooks. My books and audiobooks are available through Amazon, Apple, all sorts of places.

I put my blog, podcasts and website out for people to access FREE of charge. I pay for all of this with my own personal funds. If you like what I do and what I write about, you can show your support by making a donation to my site, it’s done securely through PayPal: http://www.livingsobersucks.com/donate_to_this_site I post a truthful report on my website of how much is donated and what this all costs me. I am very appreciative that a few people have signed up to make a $5 a month donation. Thank you for spending some of your very valuable time with me. Mark Tuschel.