Living Sober Sucks By Mark A. Tuschel   

Living Sober Sucks!

Continued from Home page......

Yes, sobriety does suck,,,, but I can’t go back. I have been sober for over 3 years without a relapse. I am the healthiest I have ever been, I have more money than I have ever had, but I’m bored and I miss drinking. I am at least honest about this. I want to drink. In fact, I probably could start drinking again and lead a relatively successful, productive and happy life. However I am quite certain that I would go right back to the level of drinking and drunken behavior I exhibited before I quit. I am also certain that I would get even worse over the years. My health would deteriorate, my brain would shrivel, my alliteration would become garbled, my communication skills would flounder, my finances would be literally pissed away and I would most likely become an even more obnoxious asshole. Therefore, as I weigh out the pro’s and con’s, I feel that I am better off sober, but being sober still sucks. That’s just how it is for me.

I was a professional drunk. I was very productive. I married a wonderful woman and we led a very comfortable lifestyle. We had 2 houses (one was a lake house), we had nice things and never went hungry. She was a wonderful woman and I was a dedicated husband. In fact, I think I was a very good husband, however my wife didn’t want to quit drinking with me and she decided to fuck other married men. But I guess if you’re drunk when you do bad things it doesn’t count. That’s called the “liquor loophole”. Oh well, guess us drunks can’t win them all.

These are my thoughts and reflections after 1 year 2 years and 3 years of sobriety. I still would like to get drunk and escape. When I start feeling the temptation to drink, I get pretty scared. I don‘t know if I will ever start drinking again. If I do, I‘m fucked! Anyway,,,, here‘s a list of good things and bad things. It’s kind of like a balance sheet. These lists were each written on or near the anniversary date, they have not been changed or updated. By not editing or changing the lists, I can look back and understand where I need improvement and hopefully see what I’ve done right, as well as what I‘ve done wrong.

3 years sober / Negatives:

I feel numb - a lack of emotions - a sense of “I don’t care”

I am missing out on joy that is right in front of me

I still feel lonely

I feel like I am not grabbing at what I would like in life

I have no clearly defined personal goals

I sometimes feel like a freak (when everyone else is drinking and I am not)

My lack of emotion sometimes pushes people away

My cutting sense of humor sometimes pushes people away

I feel useless at times

I miss having a partner in my life

Maybe I need to love more and then love will come my way?

3 years sober / Positives:

I am very proud of my continued sobriety

I am learning to like myself again

I feel comfortable with the decisions I make (but I still fuck things up on occasion)

I read more books

My thinking is even clearer

I keep my mouth shut more often or at least think before I speak

My sense of humor is sharper (maybe not in a good way)

I don’t get angry very often or at little inconveniences

I am more accepting of other people’s ideas and opinions

I thirst for knowledge

I thirst for love

I thirst for passion

I can better see my own character flaws (I just don’t fix them like I should)

People like ME for what I represent and what I have done (while many others don’t like me for who I am)

I have met some very wonderful people through this website

I have my 3 dogs - who are my unconditional friends

I have been an inspiration to friends as well as people I don’t even know

I am still sober

Living Sober Sucks

Read some excerpts from my soon to be released book..

Mark Anthony Tuschel

Bio:

Up to this point, I have lived a wild and unconventional life filled with exciting jobs, a wonderful wife for 23 years, dangerous situations and lots and lots of alcohol. Let's not forget all of the drugs too.

Now I am sober, I am divorced and I seem to lead a very boring, dull, uneventful, almost neutered style of life. Yup, that describes it,,, I feel like a neutered cat. I spend hours just staring out the window looking at chipmunks. (However I don't have the flexibility to lick myself!)

Here is my "Curriculum Vitae":

I didn't graduate from High School

Honorable Discharge / U.S. Air Force specialized in Communication Electronics

I know how to weld

I can fart the Star Spangled Banner

I have been in radio broadcast for over 20 years - writing, producing, and engineering comedy material

PhD. - Previous Hard Drinker

Stand-up comedy

I perform and record voice work for radio and television commercials. My specialty is cartoon and character voices and dialects.

I have done comedy for, but not limited to: ESPN Radio, All Star Radio Network, American Comedy Network, Animal Planet and a host of other nationally known radio celebrities.

Passed Drunk Driving School / Cum Loudly.

I'm sure there are more impressive things that I've done, I just don't remember them.

I am available for hire as your own

Personal Sobriety Coach.

Hire me for 30 days and I will keep you sober, teach you how to live and enjoy life sober and get your ass in shape! Just email me.

I am also available for motivational and speaking engagements for groups, organizations, companies. Hell, for the right price, I'll show up at weddings, funerals, bar mitvahs or family events and insult your friends and relatives. Just email me.

 

What is my purpose?:

Some people have asked me what my point is, or what am I trying to accomplish with this website. I am not here to preach temperance or to tell people that alcohol is bad. Alcohol is fun. I just can’t drink it. Maybe you shouldn’t drink either. I have a couple of reasons why I started this site.

#1 - I hope that I can be of help to those who want to stop or control their drinking.

#2 - I hope that my story can help others to repair and salvage relationships.

#3 - I hope that my story will influence others to think about whether they also have an alcohol or drug problem.

#4 - I would like to be able to sell my book, T-Shirts and can koozies.

#5 - I would like to develop myself into a motivational speaker.

#6 - I would like to eventually make money as an author and motivational speaker.

At least I am honest about my motives. How can we accomplish goals in life if we are not honest about them and clearly define them? I can’t stress enough, that if you think you have an alcohol or drug problem, then you probably do have a problem. If alcohol use is adversely effecting you and your relationships, please do something about it. NOW is a perfect time to start.

 

To my ex-wife: "I'm sorry for what I was or what you think I was"

  Me,,, now that I'm sober!

  Swimming Dee Dee dog

  
 My dogs: Greta, Eva, Dee Dee & Berkley

Aren't my dogs cute??? They are my best friends!

I am available for motivational presentations and speaking engagements for groups, organizations, companies. Hell, for the right price, I'll show up at weddings, funerals, bar mitvahs or family events and insult your friends and relatives. Just email me.

For Tucker Max: “Yes, there is beer in hell. However, it’s 3.2 beer, served warm and overpriced. So you just keep drinking the shit and you never catch a good buzz. There’s nowhere to piss and its impossible to drink the fat broads beautiful.”